Cyborg Eyesocket

Who Goes To High School With The Watchmen?

2009-03-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

I'm stoked to see Watchmen tomorrow on IMAX - it's weird to be on the verge of seeing something realized that most, including myself, assumed would never make it to the screen. The reviews have lowered my expectations just a tad, but that's probably a good thing, since statospheric expectations almost always lead to disappointment on some level.

By happenstance, I discovered that actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan, aka The Comedian, was a classmate of mine at LWHS, circa 1984. I dug up his yearbook photo and senior quotes, but it didn't ring any bells. No surprise, since he was a hunky senior and I was a spindly, pipe-cleaner-limbed sophomore, so weren't likely to ever cross paths.

Dudley Manlove and Brad Pitt's washboard abs

2008-12-28T23:13:00.000-08:00

Friday night was to be a highly anticipated adventure - a Boxing Day celebration at The Tractor Tavern, hosted by The Dudley Manlove Quartet. I had the pleasure of catching DMQ a year ago as part of "Night of 1,000 Benatars", when they one-upped the divine Miss B's own rendition of "Love Is A Battlefield". I've been itching to catch their astro-lounge 80s coverband act since, but cruel fate postponed our reunion until now. I was to be disappointed.

Despite all the makings for a great show - A decent warmup set by instrumental surf-rock/game-show-theme-loving band, Johnny Astro, a crowd buzzed on Kokanee beer and a DMQ set that ranged from Loverboy to Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind", one critical and unexpected piece was missing: unbeknownst to me, DMQ parted ways with their founder and lead singer, Paul Jensen. The new singer completely lacked Jensen's oily charm and snappy lounge act vibe, reducing DMQ to a karaoke-level status act. Pity. I overheard someone in the crowd say Jensen was with a new band, so I'll have to seek that out and hope for better.

The weekend ended with a showing of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons" - a movie I scoffed at when I originally saw the trailer months ago, but warmed up to when I learned the inconsistent-but-rarely-boring David Fincher directed. I wanted to see Danny Boyle's "Slumdog Millionaire", but that would have required spending 2 hours killing time at Alderwood Mall - something I wasn't keen on doing after a month of excruciating Christmas shopping. My second choice would have been "Valkyrie", but Adrienne said "If I have to choose between Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, I'm going with Brad Pitt".

It's a somewhat saccharine and predictable story that borrows too much from the structure of "Forrest Gump" (no surprise, since it's written by the same screenwriter), but it has great signature Fincher boilerplate-and-sepia cinematography and setpieces. Not having seen any additional spoiler-laden trailers helped keep the story fresh, especially the short but impressive WWII sequence. The creepy, shrunken, geriatic Brad Pitt was better than I expected. They also impressively reverse-aged Cate Blanchett - making me wish she'd looked so unearthly smooth-featured in her portrayal as the elven queen Galadriel in Jackson's Lord of the Rings.

"..To know what grownups do behind locked doors when children are asleep."

2008-10-28T14:45:00.001-07:00

Seattle has been graced with an unusually spectacular fall this year, with sunny, crisp weather and phenomenal autumn colors. We celebrated the season this weekend with pumpkin carving (via store-bought templates, natch. Though it's deceptively more work than you might think. I applauded Adrienne's exquisite carving skills in executing her pumpkin that sweetly portrays my housemates, Tiny Elvis the tarantula and the cats) and roasting delicious pumpkin seeds, with my perennial Autumn favorite movie Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes" playing in the background.

The Seattle Arboretum was fantastic to visit on Saturday, and I finally scratched off Kingfish Cafe on my "must do" list of local restaurants. Their buttermilk fried chicken, mashed taters and collard greens, with a dessert of coffee and double-chocolate cake with scooped real whipped cream and a hint of butterscotch was a meal to die for. I hope to visit again soon to try either the pork chops or catfish.

Bumbershoot '08

2008-09-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

The weather cooperated and spared us a drenching Saturday, so we enjoyed a belated summer day at Bumbershoot. Food on a stick, mimes on stilts, skateboarders in the halfpipe, and more great music than could be properly covered in an afternoon.

Neko Case delivered the goods, including some great covers and much-anticipated songs off her new album due out next year. We also caught fantastic performances by The Asylum Street Spankers, Nick Vigarino, and Joe Bonamassa - whom I'd never heard of but who blew me away with his Stevie Ray Vaughn-meets-Robin Trower sonic wall of blues guitar.

Summertime, summertime

2008-08-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was a hootenanny, what with an epic show at the Gorge with Steve Winwood and Tom Petty, and long-overdue summer weather. It was a blistering 102 at the Gorge, which for Seattlites felt a bit like being a strip of bacon on the grill, but it was a welcome sizzle. I was in a constant loop to the over-priced snack bar for frozen treats and cold drinks (not much rivals an slushie for cold snacks in scorching weather), and thankfully the sunscreen held out, keeping my vampiric complexion from harm.

Steve Winwood was amazing, so much that he upstaged Petty and the Heartbreakers a bit, particularly with an epic rendition of "Mr. Fantasy". At the close of his set, I lamented that he hadn't done "Gimme Some Lovin", but I'd get my wish when he joined the Heartbreakers and played both that and Blind Faith's "Can't Find My Way Home". My ears were so overjoyed I was wishing he'd play the entire rest of the set with Petty and Co.

An equally gorgeous Sunday found us at Woodland Park Zoo, where, despite the absence of Ad's favorite penguins (getting a new habitat, to open next year), we enjoyed sharing the sun with furry and feathered pals.

Tale of Two Cities' Art Festivals

2008-07-28T01:32:00.000-07:00

We ventured first to Bellevue's Festival of the Arts this weekend (I prefer the festival's original title, "Arts and Crafts Fair", but Bellevue probably decided it was too much a throwback to the hippie 70s and might encourage an infestation of macramé and tie-dye exhibitors). I'd only reintroduced myself to the fair 3 years ago after a 20+ year hiatus, and I was blown away by some of the artists' work.

My former college professor and mentor, Arunas Ošlapas, showed incredible new concepts in his "remade": fully recycled artwork. In addition to his amazing scrap-metal sculpture, he has introduced "quilts" - metal-and-scavenged-object framed artwork that I found so compelling that I just had to take a piece home with me.

There were many other pieces that affected me which I might have to revisit at a later date, among them the Mercer Mayer-meets-Tim Burton flavored work of Justin Hillgrove http://www.impsandmonsters.com. We also enjoyed the sounds and dancing of the above barefoot violinist and the timeless, never-disappointing indulgence of Fisher Fair Scones.

The following day we visited Renton's "River Days", of which the less said the better. Despite my growing affection for Renton, their so-called arts festival was akin to being the retarded cousin of the Bellevue show.

The After Hours

2008-07-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

Going to see "Dark Knight" at Southcenter's swanky new movie theater Saturday, we passed by this Lucky Jeans storefront and I couldn't resist snapping a picture of the gang of nekkid mannequins. It conjured up childhood memories of that creepy "Twilight Zone" episode "The After Hours", with Anne Francis' mannequin identity crisis freaking my 10-year old mind out but good. The window scene also had a Ridleyesque Bladerunner quality to it, as if Deckard would come running by, chasing poor, doomed Zhora.

Speaking of bladerunner chases, we had a surreal moment in Ballard yesterday, when we bore witness to a cop chasing a suspect of some sort near the Safeway at Market and 15th. Heavy afternoon traffic was slowly creeping along, when suddenly we see a cop car driving on the sidewalk next to the Safeway, chasing a disheveled-looking man, frantically looking for an escape route. The guy gave a panicked look across the street, as if salvation lay on the other side, and ran right out in front of my truck and the rest of traffic (which had by this time stopped to watch the bizarre scene unfold), followed by the cop car, lights blazing in hot pursuit. Adrienne and I looked at each other and shrugged. "I hate tourist season", she dryly quipped.

Que cinematic goosebumps

2008-07-18T12:11:00.001-07:00

Regrettably, my willpower was weak, and I peeked at the "Watchmen" trailer online yesterday (many, many times), vs. waiting to see it as it should properly be seen: in the theater before "The Dark Knight" this weekend. However, that won't spoil the icing in my Batman cake - catching Christopher Nolan's opus at the new shrine-to-cinemagoing that opens in my 'hood today: The new AMC all-digital cinemaplex in Southcenter. Putting aside the irony of such a lavish movie cathedral being built in the heart of such a classless and even dangerous shopping mall (at least 2 shootings have occured in Southcenter's parking lot in the past year), I can't wait. If both the movie and the new theater are half as good as I've heard, I'll feel even better about refinancing my home 2 days ago and committing to sticking around this neck of the woods.

So this is 40

2008-07-16T09:54:00.001-07:00

Ad and I shared back-to-back 40th birthdays this past month. Dad told me I could expect to lose my hyperdrive metabolism that allows me to snarf Top Pot donuts and snack on Kraft Mac & Cheese just before bedtime. We'll see about that - but I'm not giving up video games and superhero movies just yet. I don't yet feel that old.

Also not lost to old age (or is it, the new age?) is a taste for cocktails, live music, and an otherwise raucous good time. We caught The Red Elvises at Ballard's Tractor tavern Saturday, which was as good a commemmoration of turning the page on our 30s as I could think of. Sadly, I forgot the camera to capture the ex-Soviet surf rockers leading the Yankee capitalist dogs in song and dance.

Jack Tripper to the rescue!

2008-06-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

I joined Adrienne and her siblings in treating their father to a 70th birthday/father's day celebratory weekend at the Quinault Casino/Resort at Ocean Shores. Beachcombing and sunsets were the highlights, as one might expect. Drinking and gambling, on the other hand, proved to be a predictable debacle, albeit with comical highlights.

Saturday evening, a scrumptious-but-heavy seafood dinner at Alec's By The Sea was followed by watching the sunset with Ad and cocktails in our room. I drank much more than usual, since the food baby in my belly acted as a firewall to the alcohol - at least in the short term. By the time we adjorned to the casino floor for some late night gaming, the booze hit me like a collapsing ice shelf. One of my only recollections was throwing the dice off the craps table not once, but twice, I think. Surprisingly, I wasn't tossed from the casino, but not so surprisingly, I got murdered at the table games and slots. To my amazement, upon opening my wallet the next morning and expecting moths to fly out, I would find several dead presidents staring back at me.

The rest of the evening would be detailed to me by Ad and her sister Wendy the next morning, since I have no memory of it: After stumbling back to our room around midnight, I was so hammered that after sloppily brushing my teeth on autopilot, I returned to the sleeping quarters (now pitch dark). Ad and I were sharing a room with 2 beds with her sister, with a door to the adjoining suite where her parents stayed. Apparently, I proceeded to climb into bed with Wendy, until she barked "Wrong Bed!", startling a blind, disoriented, drunken Dane, who then scampered over to the correct bed, whereupon instead of walking around to my side, I crawled right over the top of Adrienne. A few hours later, I would rise, somnambulist-like, and crash about, unconsciously searching for asprin and the bathroom. After entering the closet and rattling the door to Ad's parent's room (thankfully locked), I achieved some measure of success and returned to bed til dawn.

Kids In The Hall and Fun with Crackheads!

2008-05-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

We saw Kids in the Hall last night, which was funny and all that (though I felt a little jipped that they used some video bits in concert that are available on YouTube - lazy fuckers). I had parked in Chinatown, and heading back to the car afterwards, I make the ill-advised decision to detour and use one of Seattle's notorious public self-cleaning toilets in Hing Hay Park. As we reach the park, we walk right past a crowd of druggies huddling around a crack pipe, right out in the open. Just ahead is the toilet, but I can see there is a red light on the toilet's door, meaning it's occupied. A scraggly woman is walking circles around the toilet, casting the stinkeye our way as we wait.

Suddenly, a fracas erupts amongst the druggies. "Hey man, that shit wasn't real!" "Oh yeah? You want some of this? C'mon muthafucka!" Three of them are circling around the other, fists raised in the "put up your dukes/kung fu fighting" pose, throwing wild punches and yelling. Morbidly fascinated, I watch as it spills into the street. I say to Ad, "Hrm, maybe I can just hold it til we get home. We should probably get out of here" Ad: "Can we... Please!?"

Dessert Daddy

2008-05-11T23:49:00.001-07:00

Thanks to some lucky traffic-dodging and killer robot speedwalking, Ad and I crammed more into a Friday date night in Seattle's arts district than one would have thought possible. For starters, we pondered our place in world history, gazing at time-ravaged marble genetalia at SAM's roman art exhibit. Food-gasming at Troiani followed soon after - I caved in to my carb-craving id and ordered Lobstah Mac & Cheese, determined to will myself into beating the inevitable food coma that would follow.

Chocolate dessert and a double-shot latte at the Triple Door staved off said coma and provided rocket fuel for the Cherry Poppin Daddies show. The Eugene swingers haven't missed a step, and it was nice to see them strut and toot in a swanky venue befitting their talent and style. I hadn't seen them in over 10 years, though I don't think they'll ever top a show at the now-gone OK Hotel, circa 1993 (maybe) from which I snatched a set-list written on the back of a classic Daddies showbill with Evil Clown illustrations.

I captured a great video of their encore rendition of "Cherry Poppin Daddies Strut", though my retarded video skilz haven't figured out how to compress it to an acceptable YouTube bite-size just yet. Stay tuned!

Teppanyaki A Go Go

2008-05-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

April was a brutally stressful month for this traveller. May is shaping up much better, thank Zod. In the midst of much fretting and teeth-grinding, last week I got to enjoy a relaxing night of good food and even better company at Seattle's Mikado restaurant. We did the teppanyaki grill dinner-show thang, but the Mikado also has those cool, intimate tatami style rooms, where you take off your shoes and they cook for you at your table. Some 30-odd years ago, I went with the family to Bush Gardens for that dinner treatment, and it was an experience I never forgot.

Tomorrow is hot date night, with dinner at Troiani, followed by The Cherry Poppin' Daddies at the Triple Door. When I first set foot in the Triple Door last December, I told Ad that it was the perfect venue for a Daddies show. Their ears must have been burning from their Seattle fans' collective yearning, cause they booked a gig only a few months later. I'm looking forward to snapping some choice pictures and getting my swing on!

Tulips + Shriners = End of Days (not really)

2008-04-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Being as the weatherman predicted a Seattle April heat wave of 80 degrees on Saturday, we decided to be "outsidesy" and head out to LaConner to take in the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. I'd seen postcard pictures of the tulip fields for years, and as a native Washingtonian it one of those nagging items on my "bucket list" to check off.

We spent the morning literally tiptoeing through the tulips, as well as the mud - Tiny Tim left that part out of the song. I was a little underwhelmed - I'd expected seas of tulips as far as the eye could see, but it was more like the occasional big field and a lot of smaller, but very gorgeous patches.

We stopped in downtown LaConner for an afternoon of antiquing, art-walking, and gnoshing. My heart lept when we saw a food vendor selling my latest food addiction, indian flatbread. Their flatbread tacos, stuffed with salmon (Adrienne had beef), cream cheese, and salsa was right in my junkfood palate's wheelhouse!

As we were readying to leave, our exit was postponed by a town parade - though we couldn't have refused the chance to see Shriners driving those tiny cars anyways. When we got home, Adrienne gasped at the supernova sunburn on my pasty-white neck. Thankfully, I'd been wearing a baseball hat to protect my delicate noggin.

"See Washington's Tulip Fields" - check

2008: What a year for men in tights

2008-03-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

As a perpetual juvenielle and fan of costumed perverts, er, crimefighters, 2008 just might overload my cinema-libido with it's super-lineup. It's a veritable festival with more chicks and guys in tights, monsters, and cliffhangers than you can shake a stick at!

I kicked the Year of Heroes off Saturday with "Doomsday" - Neil Marshall's "homage" to Escape from NY and Mad Max. I gave Adrienne a get-out-of-jail card by offering up the chance to see "Horton Hears a Who", which was playing at the same theaters, but the screaming throngs of children (it was 3pm) nudged her to pick Doomsday. It was about what I expected - incredibly dumb, but pretty fun. The first 3/4 of the movie was nearly a great Snake Plissken adventure - what Escape from LA should have been. Director Neil Marshall made no bones about modeling his heroine Eden Sinclair after Plissken - right down to similar attire and an eyepatch that she occasionally uncovered to reveal a cyber-eyeball cam. (Which sounds insanely dumb, but it suited the grindhouse vibe). The production quality and polish were much better than I expected - the post-apocalyptic Scotland was executed really well for the most part. But Marshall's spastic, rapid-fire editing gave me a headache during many of the action scenes, and the movie's finale landed with a thud - It was a silly Mad Max-ripoff road chase that was out of place even for the lowbrow spirit of the movie up to that point. Doomsday was also far and away the most violent movie I've seen. At one point, the post-apolalypic Scottish C.H.U.D.S barbeque a live captured soldier - in full frame from roasting to tearing him apart and eating, which was a bit much for my tastes (pun intended). Contrary to many of my peers' opinion, I actually avoid gory movies for the most part. Though I do love cheesy-gory movies like Evil Dead and Reanimator, I avoid torture-porn stuff like Saw or Hostel.

The trailer for the new Hulk movie ran before Doomsday, which looked marginally better than Ang Lee's awful attempt. I have high hopes for Iron Man, Hellboy 2, and Batman. And the pics for Zack Snyder's take on Watchmen have me giddy!

Feliz Navidad y Feliz Año Nuevo

2008-01-04T12:45:00.000-08:00

After a nice winter break, it's back to the Microsoft mothership come Monday. Today, the tree and decorations are getting packed up and crammed into storage, the Xmas candy is in the pantry, and gifts are being sorted and put away. The marathon of Christmas craft shows, light displays, freak Seattle snowstorms, endless gorging on decadent food, and reuniting with friends and family seen too infrequently has come to a finish.

One of the more surreal moments of the Christmas season was getting lost in Bellevue's tighty-whitey community of Medina on a dark and rainy night, en route to my grandmother's dinner at the stuffy Overlake Golf & Country Club (I kept an eye out for Judge Smails). I asked a lone, rainslicker-garbed fellow walking his dogs for directions, and was surprised to recognize former Washington Senator Slade "Skeletor" Gorton. He was kind enough to give directions, though my juveneille brain was scrambling for some kind of witty crack the whole time, so I didn't hear a helpful word he said.

Hittin' the (cold) town

2007-12-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

Friday was hot date-night on this traveler's calendar as Ad and I braved the frigid Seattle streets at night and caught Kim Virant at the Triple Door. I'd read rave reviews about the venue, and Kim Virant had played there before - but alas, at the time I was a lonely single bloke, and uncomfortable with the idea of sallying forth to such a swanky juke joint flying solo. Hot gal around my arm this time, however, the Triple Door and the divine Miss Virant didn't disappoint. A scrumptious asian-fusion dinner and cocktails was followed by a great performance, though I was still left yearning for Kim's former bandmate Brian Kenney, in attendence, to join her onstage to blow the doors down with a couple blistering tunes from their band, the legendary and much-missed Lazy Susan.

Good News Everyone! Futurama Is Back!

2007-11-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

I'm all giddy for next week's release of the long-awaited Futurama straight-to-dvd movie, "Bender's Big Score". Simpsons should have passed the torch to Futurama and retired gracefully, but FOX never did have a clue what a great show they had on their hands. I'm grateful for it's return nevertheless, since I've rewatched the original series ad nauseum.

Ad and I went to not one, but two different holiday craft shows last weekend, and I pretty much came up empty handed. But I did discover a snack that uncannily resembles "Popplers" from the Futurama episode, "The Problem With Popplers". Not only does Cosmos caramel corn look identical to Popplers, but they're equally as addictive. They may be caramel covered, baked corn puffs, but they taste even better imagining they're sentient alien larvae.

I want more life....f*cker!

2007-11-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last night's screening of the "Final Cut" of Blade Runner at the Cinerama was moviegoing at it's finest. The print was immaculate - I doubt any of the original prints in 1982 even compared. The sound literally shook the railings, and Roy Batty and Deckard never looked so glorious in Syd Mead's fantastic vision of 2019 Los Angeles. I'm looking forward to having a dangerous, illegal, and taboo relationship with a replicant for my 51st birthday.

The changes were minor - mostly it was cleanup of the print, sound, and effects shots, including digitally removing the obnoxious wires lifting the full-scale spinners when they took off from the street, which always bothered me. The re-compositing of new footage with Joanna Cassidy crashing through glass in her death scene was flawless. My only minor complaint was that one of my favorite lines was tweaked - when Batty confronts Tyrell with the line "I want more life... FUCKER!", the line is now a softer, kind of mush-spoken "..father". But this hardly detracted from the overall improvements and the joy of seeing it in 70mm glory.

What happens in Vegas...

2007-11-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

We touched down in Las Vegas Thursday, and immediately commenced upon a spree of booze, food, and gambling that would have made Henry VIII proud. Leaving soggy and cold Seattle behind for sun-kissed 85-degree desert-heat Vegas was a welcome break.

Thursday night we cavorted at Poly Esther's nightclub, since it was the only club we could find that would admit the casual attire of our party. We molested the wax statues of Madame Tussaud's at the Venetian, watched Penn & Teller work magic, and bowled at Lucky Strike Lanes at the Rio, where Beca rolled her personal best score of 174!

Saturday, Ad and I visited Hoover Dam, which lived up to it's hype. And in the wee hours of the morning, we played our favorite slot machine, "Ring Quest", and I hit a 20,100 credit jackpot (in pennies, sadly), making this my first Vegas trip where I left with winnings.

Ad and I are getting along better and better, even under the duress of a grueling return trip plagued by insanely long security lines, delayed flights, and tarmac shuttle mishaps at LAX (Note to self: Spring for the extra cost for direct flights unless it's obsenely expensive next go-round).

More pics of the lost weekend on Flickr: http://tinyurl.com/2vjjmc

The Autumn People and Children of the Corn

2007-10-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Fall has always been one of my favorite times of the year, what with it's spooky, smokey atmosphere of earthy sights and smells and pagan revelry. Ad and I made the most of it this weekend by going to the Seattle Arboretum and the Autumn Festival in Snohomish. The pumpkin patches and old town funk of Snohomish transported us right into the world of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes", though it lacked an evil carnival. We indulged in a slice of pie at the legendary Snohomish Pie Co. for lunch, and wandered into the Stocker Farms Corn Maze. The sound of giggling from unseen children in the maze made us feel we were being stalked by the He Who Walks Behind The Rows and his cult of murderous children worshippers.

Halo 3 launch party

2007-09-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

I got to be one of my pal Gronk's hot dates to the Bungie Halo 3 launch party (I laid down the rules beforehand that I'd only go to 2nd base with him). Important tip: when the drinks are FREE and STRONG, be sure to eat something! Breaking that rule would come back to haunt me later in the evening and the next morning. The open bar had an ice sculpture that was also a alcohol-shute which the bartenders poured drinks through. The party planners were smart to forego dancing and stick to a mixer with Halo 3 movies and video gaming because nerds can't dance. You just get a dozen girls on the dance floor and 200 horny guys staring at them in uncomfortable silence. The geek mosh reached a frenzy when Billy G appeared. I managed to capture on film the alpha waves pulsating from his gigantic brain. Gronk and Paul were playing a Halo 3 fragfest, oblivious to the world's richest man holding court directly behind them.

At midnight they bused us to Bellevue's Best Buy to fan the flames of the fans lined up to buy the game. Thankfully I obeyed my body's warning to stop drinking, even though there was booze on the bus. Microsoft was kind enough to provide complimentary cab fare, though I had to retrieve my parked truck at Bungie the next morning. Since my bike tire had a flat and I'm allergic to public transportation, I walked 15 miles from Renton to Kirkland yesterday morning. Sweating out 2 gallons and walking/jogging for 2 and a half hours is a great cure for a wicked hangover.

Food on a stick and DEVO

2007-09-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

Ad and I do the Puyallup Fair Friday, gorging ourselves on scones and all manner of food on a stick. I succumbed to the seductive carny chant luring me to see the fair's only "freak" - Mack & Jack, the two headed turtle, which wasn't nearly as cool as the "Ze-Donk" - a Zebra/Donkey hybrid. After hours of rides, animals, and failed attempts to win Ad a giant stuffed penguin on the midway games, we went to an epic appearance by DEVO. Mothersbaugh and the boys really still pack a weird punch.

Who needs a mitt, anyways?

2007-09-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sept 12, 2007

En route to Monday's Mariners game I stopped off to shop in the always cool Elliott Bay Book Co. to pick up something to read at the ballpark when things were slow. An hour of browsing turned up a used copy of Philip K. Dick's "The Man In The High Castle", a longtime resident on my must-read list. I got to the ballpark 2 hours early and bought a plate of Ivar's fish and chowdah for the bargain price of $14.50.

I get to my seat and realized to my horror that I was settling down with my plate of sloppy food in the midst of batting practice, right in the prime home run drop zone, 2 rows from the outfield wall in right field. The 5 o'clock sun is glaring right in my eyes so I can't even see the batters, and I'm surrounded by dozens of souvenier-seeking maniacs and their mitts, waiting to dive for balls. So I chow down at indigestion-inducing speed to avoid having a screaming fly ball drop out of the sun right onto my lap or head. Once finished, I begin reading P.K.D., warily listening to the crowd around me for cues of incoming balls, when sure enough, they start squealing with excitement as a fly ball comes rocketing right towards me. I look up, yelp and scurry out of the way, since I have no intention of catching it with my gimpy, bare right hand, and I don't want to get crushed in the scrum of bozos scrambling my way. The ball bounces off a seat to the right of me and I instinctively drop the book and said ball plops right in my hands, much to the chagrin of the beacher bums who'd been waiting hours for a souvenir.

That would prove to be the highlight of the game, since Oakland proceeded to tear the reeling M's a new cornshute. Compounding the misery was a group of A's fans in my section, chest-thumping and hollering with every Oakland hit or run scored. So I bailed in the 5th inning, thankfully missing the continuing slaughter, happy with my souvenier and belly full of greasy fish.

Bad cop, no donut

2007-09-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

July 12, 2007

A morning stop at Top Pot and McDonald's (Yes, I'm trying to kill myself) led me on a detour to work and right into a traffic light cop-trap and subsequent ticket. I saw the tiny "right turn only during arbitrary hours of the day - like right now" sign too late and Che Whitey Motorcycle Cop jumped on me like a vulture on a rotting water buffalo.

I've determined that your probability of getting a traffic ticket is directly proportionate to the degree of sexual satisfaction or frustration of the officer pulling you over. Obviously my cop hasn't had his chain yanked in a long, long, long time, because he read me the riot act about my heinous traffic crimes while angrily writing me a ticket.

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time...

2007-09-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

July 11, 2007
Comrade Gronk made this tribute to our joint birthday and my eternal mocking of him being a year older than me. I actually got to finally give the ballyhooed sandwich shop Salumi a try on my b-day, because for once there wasn't a line out the door onto the sidewalk. I got a prosciutto and provalone sammich, which was good, though I wouldn't say it was $11 good ($9.85 + dollar tip, natch).

Ad took me to Troiani for dinner, which was mucho tasty. I dunno if it was the summer heat or my lack of drinking practice, but one Crown and Coke had my head buzzing for like 3 hours, Yow! Their seafood dishes were pretty good, especially Ad's roasted bacon-wrapped scallops.
Among other great gifts, she got me an iPod Shuffle, which I've been coveting since I got her one for X-Mas. Now I can wander through Pioneer Square and tune out the panhandlers and drug dealers with soundtracks to Blade Runner.

Squishees and Fireworks = Good

2007-09-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

July 4, 2007
Ad and I cool off on a picture-perfect Seattle 4th with Squishees at the newly-arrived Seattle Kwik-E-Mart. We'd just come from Pike Place Market to indulge Ad's craving for a corndog at the Wonder Freeze - though we had to endure a cranky old corndog nazi who yelled at me when I dared ask him for mustard.

We watched the Lake Union fireworks at Gasworks Park with 60,000 of our closest friends, which was jaw-droppingly spectacular. I thought the piddly fireworks show at Coulon Park near my house was pretty good. Hoo-daddy did this show put that to shame!

Big Apple and The Heart of Darkness (WA DC, that is)

2007-09-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

May 31, 2007
Adrienne and I returned from a week of touristy fun in NYC and DC. Sadly, I can't report that I bumped into Ann Coulter at the urinals in a DC men's room and gave her a much-deserved swirly. But the trip was a lot of fun, with only a few misadventures.

Adrienne was a little gimpy from a sprain, but she soldiered on and kept up with my manic, robotic speedwalking. We were both awestruck by the scale and grandeur of Manhattan. As a cinemaphile and comic book huffer, it was amazing to see the neighborhoods and haunts of my childhood idols such as Spiderman and Travis Bickle. At nearly every street corner I expected to look up and see Aunt May sewing in an apartment window or Doctor Strange summoning the hoary hosts of Hoggoth in his Sanctum Sanctorum. Landmarks such as the Empire State Building, NY Public Library and Metropolitan Museum lived up to their billing. I was bummed that the exterior of the Guggenheim was enshrouded in scaffolding for a restoration, but photos don't do justice to its amazing interior. Central Park was spectacular, especially on Sunday when the sun broke out.

By the fourth day we were burning out a bit, so it was just as well that we were getting a change of scenery by heading out to DC. After negotiating the hair-raising NYC morning rush hour traffic and Jersey turnpike tolls in our rental car, we arrived in DC at noon Monday. A great first day of monuments and memorials was rudely interrupted by the horror of walking out of the National Archives after ogling the Declaration of Independance and Constitution to find that our car had been towed. I learned the hard way that many of the streets in DC become extremely unforgiving "Do Not MutherF'in Park" zones at the dot at 4 pm. We had to cab to the very, very bad side of town to a scary impound lot to retrieve our car. Even our cabbie was uncomfortable in the neighborhood, shouting out to the wifebeater-wearing gatekeeper to make sure he had gotten us to the correct destination and wasn't abandoning us to our doom. After only a slightly tramatizing interrogation in a run-down trailer by the cast of the "Gimp" scene in Pulp Fiction, we were back on our way, with my first DC souvenir - a $100 parking ticket.

We stuck to the traditional touristy stuff in DC, although after our very lengthy tour of museums in NY, we were a bit tired of artwork and artifacts - so we concentrated mainly on outdoor sites such as Arlington Cemetery, capital buildings, and sculpture parks. We also took a Duck tour of DC, which wasn't nearly as cool as the one we took in Boston last summer, but was still fun. Much to my chagrin, on our last day we found out that you could take a tour of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing to see real money getting printed, which sounded awesome. But sadly we didn't have enough time left for that.